Obsession

August 12th, 2025, Graphite and White Chalk on Toned Paper

This piece was created in response to a creative prompt called a seed. In this case, the seed was the word "Obsession."

I interpreted this prompt through the lens of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), a very personal topic for me. The obsession aspect of OCD is less visible than many well-known compulsions (such as hand washing), but obsession is key to the disorder. People with OCD have frequent intrusive thoughts. For some, the thoughts focus on whether they are moral enough, which is often called "moral scrupulosity OCD." Sometimes this affects day-to-day functionality. I have often associated this aspect of OCD with a story about Mary Magdalene (or Mary of Egypt, who influenced Mary Magdalene's depictions). In this story, Mary sinned in many ways during her youth. After repenting, she became a hermit, caring for nothing except her faith. All worldly concerns fell away, so she didn't bother tending to her physical body. Her clothes turned to rags and her hair grew long while she focused on visions and prayers.

With its long hair, my image alludes to a present-day, darker, more delusional successor to Mary Magdalene, who becomes lost in obsessive thoughts. Are these thoughts really put in her head by god? Who can say? But ironically, while she worries so much about whether she is doing the right thing and how she might have sinned, her life is falling apart. She is not doing her laundry and dishes, not even bothering to get dressed most days, and so on. In short, she is in an OCD episode. Only the desperate thoughts burn brightly at the center of the filth and chaos, promising that she will find a way to atone if she just thinks about it one more time...